Month: May 2017

A Note About Gold Diggers

A Note About Gold Diggers


Women don’t set out to be gold diggers, but divorce – like death – can turn otherwise good people into bloodthirsty wolves. Perhaps a few sharks go into marriage thinking of money, but for most women, marriage only becomes a business investment once it has failed emotionally.

At first, love is honest, and it comes easy when a man only has his dreams. By the time he owns a German automobile, the thrill is gone. Perhaps she’s laying the landscaper like sod when she has her epiphany: “I could make a lot of money from this sucker. And I deserve it.” In hindsight, taking initiative and working hard — let’s say you wrote a ditty called “Hey Jude” that did quite well — was a mistake. Motivation is like an open sore that invites mosquitoes through the window and into the bedroom. From the kids to the house, men leave a marriage with nothing. In some ways, her feeling of entitlement is a result of propaganda, starting with fantasies that promise an emotionally perfect life.

Alas, reality cannot live up to cartoons. Women are trained to find a man with motivation from the beginning, starting with Disney classics like Cinderella (poor rag lures wealth under false pretences), Lady and the Tramp (uppity b*tch-hound hopes to make over motivated mutt) and Sleeping Beauty (catatonic do-nothing wakes up to unearned riches). Thank you very much, Walt.